Grandma in Alabama

Today we are wrapping up a three-day visit with my stepdaughter and her young family on our way from a Florida retreat to the rest of our winter in the Berkshires. I have been welcomed as Grandma Jane, included in all the intimate details of running a busy household. Abra and her husband have chosen to live on one modest salary so that Abra can stay home with a three-year-old, 18-month-old, and the newest daughter expected in June. Most days, Dad rushes home after work in the afternoon to help manage the demands of building their young family.

Thousands of mundane acts of care and feeding fills her days with the girls. Both are enthusiastic and adventurous eaters, willing to try any of the varied dishes their mother prepares for them. I admire the calm equanimity that Abra brings to every moment, even with the inevitable temper tantrums. The days have a predictable rhythm, each time period aided by appropriate music or even a few minutes (very few) of vegging-out time in front of the tv as the older girl transitions from school to home and Mom prepares lunch.

The oldest goes off to preschool for 3 hours a day and the younger girl still takes a nap in the afternoon, so Mom has alone time with each girl every day. That will change soon with the coming of Number 3, so she is storing up millions of intimate touch points in the meantime. While the toddler naps, Mom brings out one of several baskets of art supplies for an afternoon project. She even has a special vinyl cover for the dining room table to turn this space into an art studio for the afternoon. We brought some new art materials, tools, and supplies with us, so I was in charge of the art project part of the time.

Baby #3 is expected on schedule this summer while Dad is on a break from his teaching position. They are both planning to focus their time and attention on integrating the new person into this peaceful, happy, and productive home.